making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
