you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
