I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
