I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
