I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
