In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
