But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
