Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i dont even know how to be here
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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