Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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