You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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