Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
