i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize