Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
