Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How does one acquire holy water?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize