Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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