I just pynch a tree in the face
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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