At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize