Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
