Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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