Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
