She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
