New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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