Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
