Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
