Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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