omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
