Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We had sex on a dog bed..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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