And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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