I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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