ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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