hotel room ftw
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
