Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
