I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
