She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize