As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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