She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
