Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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