is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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