end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I smell like Dick and happiness
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize