Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
