Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
