that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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