he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
