Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
