just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
