I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
