you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is Oprah even human
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize