We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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