when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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