im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ugly people sure do ruin things
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
