just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
