Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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