I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
