i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Someone shattered a urinal.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize