Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
