I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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