I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
