dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
