have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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